(no subject)

[proximoception]

Half as much sleep makes me ten times as stupid, and I've been averaging half lately, weeknights. Weekends I sleep too much, and that makes for another, though rather different, flavor of stupid.

Also I give much, much less of a damn. The lack of sufficient damn also makes good or complete thoughts scarce. Time management still feels like death to me, but clearly the feeling is preferable to the real thing, doled out in bits when I don't have some realistic acceptance of the lifestyle I've chosen.

Everything's less good and interesting, when you're tired. All thrills are gagged with tea towels. Even pain is kind of boring.

I write these things that I might remember them.

Comments

[grashupfer.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree with every word of this. Beginning around July, I don't think I'll sleep again at all for a year.

[proximoception.livejournal.com]

Surely there's compensatory parent hormones or something though. You're on nature's mighty path. I'm in graduate school and will get cancer, my one hope that my cancer will get cancer of its own.

[ensenchiridion.livejournal.com]

i find that, given a sufficient degree of fatigue, a negative occurrence can pass by with nary a quiver - as can a positive occurrence - so that a lack of sleep in the night might well deliver a fully balanced experience of wakefulness in the day.

[proximoception.livejournal.com]

I think you're right--sleeplessness can have a kind of ironic narcotizing effect. But I'll take range over balance any day, this stuff just isn't for me.