(no subject)

I'm almost over the indignity of actually doing something.

I'm sure I'll lose that almostoverness over summer though. Because it is undignified, when you draw back from what you do. You have to be in it so far as to see not a bit of the frame, until it's the things inside it that have or lack dignity, the things you're supposed to be rearranging, and usually can easily enough. Seems to be the sheer amount that creates the difficulty: no one would give you this job unless you could do it, no one would give you a job you could do so perfectly as to not get behind on--maybe because then you'd have time, could detach, would see the indignity, march away?

Also it helps to really, really need money. Needing money involves most of the same sparks and darks and prickles in the head fearing someone large is about to hit you does.

(no subject)

Maybe no make the movement yours just tame it.
Maybe no wash the movement free of you blame it.
Don't but or follow the movement through and you own it.
Best but don't ever or take what it is but be sure it's from you that you've sewn it.

(no subject)

Some like me so much at first, but it never lasts, I burn or bore them somehow. Almost seems like you could set your clock by it? Or is all liking like that?

(no subject)

When I'm freed in ten days I will:

1. Sleep for a week.
2. Go to Ohio.
3. Finish the books I had to partly skim.
4. Clean this sty.
5. Exercise daily.
6. Get everything ready for July.

7. Fill in my few major Am. Lit gaps. Esp.: Walden & Invisible Man. Maybe some James--Bostonians, Jolly Corner, Beast in the Jungle, Aspern Papers, Turn of the Screw. Norton selections of female writers: Rowlandson's Narrative, Charlotte, Life in the Iron Mills, The Awakening, Their Eyes Were watching God, maybe Sula. A Cather novel or two. Gravity's Rainbow and/or Mason & Dixon.

Whatever I've missed of Dickinson, Whitman and Emerson. Biographies and trendy criticism are an even higher priority, unfortunately.

8. Polish the papers instructors recommended I publish--successful or no, it will be a good introduction to the process.

9. Read for enjoyment? Suttree at the very least. Past that we'll see what time is like. And I've mostly forgotten my interests, personality.

10. Watch movies. Any Bergmans and Kurosawas we missed, maybe some Fellinis and early Godards. Political documentaries to keep up lividity levels. All these other movies we've been hearing about but missing. Give Inland Empire another chance?

Sounds like a summer.