(no subject)

[proximoception]

We Need to Talk About Kevin is shattering for members of the parent subspecies. Not sure how it is for others. Or what to call the others - "children" seems patronizing.

Comments

[wolodymyr.livejournal.com]

It felt like it was made for parents.

I'd have more patience if the numbers on abused kids and homeless kids were different, or if the stories coming out of situations like Columbine were different. Swinton feels responsible, and vilified. Where there's psychopathy IRL, meaningful responsibility is debatable - psychopathy seems to be a brain problem, not a nurture problem, not along the subtle lines the story tells (you weren't a blissful enough mother, omg). Where there isn't psychopathy, the dominant provoking IRL experience seems to have been peer relationships, not parental ones, and often the perpetrators seem to have been mentally ill. With mental illness being separable from the state of not being loved enough. Finally, parents whose children kill people in sprees tend to receive support and sympathy, as seen in Columbine, as seen in the recent article about Adam Lanza's father, as seen in the nearly universal support and sympathy for the woman who wrote the internet essay "I am Adam Lanza's mother," who was likely abusing her child. These parents receive sympathy because other parents are so afraid of being that parent, because the horror-fantasy is that strong.

Overall, ego-needs of parents effectively obscure the health and safety needs of children, to the point of routine physical endangerment of children. Non-parents are denied standing to comment because they're not parents. Here on the outside, one's left watching what happens to actual children, which is less "...Kevin" than Rachel Aviv's "Netherland."