(no subject)

[proximoception]

Finally got up the nerve to read last term's evaluations. I taught two 101 classes in a row, with just enough time in between to walk from one to the other. The material was identical, which meant it was always tested for the second class, which consequently loved me...except for one very angry person. There was an angry evaluator in the earlier, weaker class too, but also a handful of other students with scattered criticisms. All at least partly valid--I remember specific days they were probably referring to, occasions of being ill-prepared or unconfident or unsure how to explain something.

I think I'm doing about halfway in-between with my present batch--I sometimes but not always remember what worked and didn't last term.

It's amazing to what extent good teaching is a feedback loop--something suddenly interests them, their interest interests you, your interest in their interest excites them, soon everyone's happy, attendance gets higher, homework effort improves etc. Works the other way, too, of course; bore or annoy them too much in a row and life gets depressing all over. It really does matter that a large proportion like you, at least for classes like these full of freshpersons with no prior investment in the material. Which saddens me, as I hadn't expected all those annoying strategies and anxieties involved in being liked to matter in this line of work. But it's also nice to have some idea what to do/produce with their goodwill. I tend to feel a bit disturbed in the rare event someone likes me--seems to place obligations on me that I don't fully understand and wouldn't know how to fulfill. And eventually this awkwardness is sensed and the people in question stop liking me and I'm halfway relieved. With students there's boundaries to rely on, ways to stay liked only as a teacher. Though these haters sometimes sound awful personal.

Comments

[grashupfer.livejournal.com]

What was up with the very angry person?

[proximoception.livejournal.com]

Scented his upcoming C or D in the course, I guess? First year students who got only high grades in high school sometimes take a while to adjust. Or perhaps their parents do, down here.

[thelican.livejournal.com]

It really does matter that a large proportion like you, at least for classes like these full of freshpersons with no prior investment in the material. Which saddens me, as I hadn't expected all those annoying strategies and anxieties involved in being liked to matter in this line of work.

This observation of yours reminds me a bit of a comment made by a friend-of-a-friend who had taught at a prep school for a year after a long time of living on adjunct college instructor pay. (He and I had an exchange about it all sometime last fall, when I was struck by the unexpectedly fragile ecosystem of the classroom.)

"what a puzzle! i found myself having to continually assert my "self" (self= the value of the project, the basic rules of conduct, that i ought to be listened to, that their obnoxious excuses are invalid, that literature is of interest) which was a drag."

It's the part about convincing them to care (which tripped up another doctoral student/adjunct instructor friiend of mine) that can seem so surprising. I mean, it can then be gratifying - if you do end up convincing/showing them. But yes. And, maybe especially because literature is such feeling thing?, whether they like you or not is the crucial ingredient. If they adore you, you can get them to reams of stream of consciousness narrative and discuss it meaningfully. If they don't, it's like trying to sell a mudbath to a cat.

Makes sense - in that the success of literature itself has so much to do with rhetoric. But yeah. Yeah.

[proximoception.livejournal.com]

They tend to have respect for literature in the abstract--like everyone but certain contemporary English professors and graduate students.