(no subject)

[proximoception]

You know those moments when some phrase in thought involves the world or some large swatch of it, and you look at your dusty cartoon version of geography, some monstrous misaverage of thing and symbol, and realize it won't do, and kick a wall open to let in your memories of the vast past vast world, and these won't quite fuse together enough to do either, so you paint up an MGI landscape, mine are usually on a steep Northern Hemisphere phone commercial curve, and concentrate all kinds of lights and topographies into it, generally some repetition of a few objects like mailboxes and black trees but at least you're trying, and little incidents of representative uniqueness are concocted and magnify themselves into great spirit movies over the land, and these often resemble people in old photographs but not black and white or implausibly colored ones, so usually they're from the early '80s, of things like a child huddled over a tricycle trying to fix its wheel but not knowing much about fixing so maybe she just spins it or rubs grass on it, or of two short overweight people nodding at each other over a fence and one is holding a baby lamb, or a grassy pebbly slope with some broken glass and a lot of fresh-looking tennis balls across it because it's right past the fence of a court--not shown--and the overgrowth hides from searchers where the balls went, or whatever, and then you realize none of that will do either and you try to fill your imagination with great numbers of things and people and make them different as possible but the more you change them the more you forget to keep different and soon they're all picking their noses or having elbow fights or tearing up memos in perfect Zeigfeldian synchronicity and you wonder if your mind is just a tiny overmirrored Chinese restaurant and you drift into the dark indefinable colors toward the edge of your phone ad horizon and the rest falls away in your sidemind and you go elsewhere entirely or polish off the cartoon and pin it back into place and resume your phrase or rather your mismemory of the phrase and go on from there?